in her Mirror"
PDF book now available $4.95
The mind is a powerful tool that can help you ~ or an ugly weapon that can paralyze you with fear. Like so many of us, Sandra grew up believing her self-worth was contingent on her body size and beauty. Her search for acceptance and the mad struggle to get to skinny, weaves a compelling journey through the minds eye. She tries to find the perfect example by observing and comparing herself to other women’s lives, the cheater, the pleaser, the beautiful actress, the miserable mistress, and the psycho virgin. It's not working. As Sandra sorts through the cold hard facts of either trying to measure up to an impossible standard and /or relate to these bizarre lives, the one constant truth shines through; all fat-chicks are-crazy, even the skinny ones. So she turns to Oprah, and together they drink their cares away with Medifast, she and Oprah are kicking fat ass..but not for good.
In her professional life she has an exciting career in the film business, continually impressing others as a talented producer. Traveling the world, she masters the eccentric demands of filming with ease, but her private life is still plagued by the Trickster (Psychological Voice of Not-Good Enough) tearing her down at every opportunity. Smiling on the outside, but thoroughly lost on the inside, she begins questioning everything about herself.
While filming in Patagonia she meets Melissa, a beautiful, confident, model who accepts Sandra for who she is, and sternly encourages Sandra to face the make-believe monster in her mirror. Forced to re-examine her life, and where the Fat Chick image first began, Sandra decides to quit everything; trying to improve, dieting, comparing herself to others, and listening to the Trickster. Now fully awake and capable to clearly see her own subtle madness in the other women around her, Sandra is appalled and frightened at the absurdities.
All the while, Trickster is stalking her, patiently waiting for her to fail, like a ticking time bomb waiting to claim her mind once more. But she goes it alone, struggling to stay on her chosen path. Eventually she defeats the madness of her life-long obsession of not-good-enough, but not without a fight. Hell, it's more like a battle, her spirit emerges from the darkness, and starts shooting. She wants her life back damn-it, and keeps shooting the truth over and over again, killing the Trickster. Finally, Sandra discovers the freedom from the Trickster and the obsession.
This poignant true story of self-discovery has astounding inspiration and and uplifting reality. Told through quirky charm and sincerity, Sandra finally stops searching for what’s wrong with her, and asks the ultimate question; “What’s right with me?” By breaking through the illusion she understands, think broken, be broken...